Image by Cristof Wittwer

I hear a lot of talk about people wanting revival. They want their churches to grow.

And they are scratching their heads wondering why lesser developed countries are experiencing great revival while their churches here in the U.S. are not.

I believe I have an answer – one anyway.

We have gotten away from the experience.

Here in the U.S. we have gotten used to having things come rather easy for us (easier than in many other areas of the world). I am not talking about jobs or housing, but more of the nitty gritty stuff – the experience of things.

We don’t have to toil in the fields or hunt our food in order to eat. We just drive to the grocery store, lay a few dollars down and it is right there, ready to consume.

If we want heat or light  or information or entertainment, just a flick of a switch brings it directly to us.

Few people in the U.S. have to build a fire for heat anymore, but maybe it would be a good exercise for us all, particularly if we want revival in our churches.

In fact, creating an environment for revival is much like making a fire. It takes work. You can’t just sit around and wait for it to happen and you certainly can't flick a switch (like some people use prayer). It takes effort and energy - work.

You have to gather kindling and place the wood just so. Then you have to strike the flint to get the spark and light the tender. Blow on it gently to get the flames going, then place it in the kindling and wood. But even once the fire is going, you have to stoke it and tend it so that it does not go out.

Revival is like that.

As a body you have to be active – active in prayer, in worship, in praise, in fasting, in Bible study (personal edification) and in outreach.

Every member must commit to daily prayer and Bible study. This is not the quick, “Lord, help me pass this test,” or “Jesus, help me get through this meeting.” No, we must all commit to real prayer, prayer that draws us closer to Christ and builds a relationship between us and Him. That means at least 15 minutes (but that should increase the deeper you get).

As for Bible study, that does not mean reading a verse or two and maybe a devotional. No, you need to spend time in God’s Word. If you read a couple of verses, read the rest of the chapter to get the context. Read any cross referenced scripture. In other words, STUDY God’s Word, don’t just read a line of two here or there.

But once the people start showing up and the church sees growth, you can't stop there. Like the fire, you have to stoke it and tend it. There is never a point where you can stop praying, stop praising and worshiping and stop studying your Bible. In fact, as you go deeper and see growth, you will be called to do more and more, invest more and more of yourself in it.

Revival takes effort and commitment far beyond a little singing, dancing and hand raising on Sunday morning. It means committing your life to God and making that commitment active and growing every single day.

In our ease that technology has brought us, we have lost the experience and it has bled into our spiritual life.

And until we get back to the experience, we won’t see revival.

I had a little lesson in humility today and in my obedience, God revealed something to me that opened up my understanding even further. Thank you, Jesus!

This afternoon, I was told my someone that I not doing something I was supposed to be doing (this is associated with work – it doesn’t matter what it was, that is not the point here).

Now, I was pretty sure that I had been doing it because I have been making a conscious effort to do it. My first thought was that this person was making a mistake, maybe confusing me with someone else.

As I stood there, listening to the person tell me this, my flesh rose up. I began to tell the person what I did and how I had been doing it. I was almost arguing (it was heading there anyway).

Then I caught myself. I realized what I was doing.

I stopped, smiled and said, “I am sorry. I have been trying to make sure that is done, but I may have slipped or overlooked that. If you notice I do that again, please bring it to my attention so that I can correct it.”

The atmosphere in the room changed. I know that person felt it too because their entire countenance changed. It was like God just walked into the room.

There was no argument, no debate, the person returned my smile and agreed to help me. Then I wished them a great weekend, did a little small talk (I am not very good at it, but I have learned that small talk, allowing people to talk about themselves, is a great way to build relationships – I have no idea why this is true, but it is).

Now, I had several things going on here. First, I was accused of something that I was pretty certain I did not do. Secondly, this person was an authority figure.

For the first part, really, in the grand scheme of things it means nothing. If I am living for God, no man can do anything to me. All of my trust is in Him and I know that no matter the outcome, He will always, always take care of me. But it was important that I was humble and submissive.

For the second part, I was submissive to God appointed authority. By honoring that person and submitting to them, I was honoring God.

Jesus wants us to be humble and to treat others with kindness. He wants us to love our enemies and those who despitefully use us. He did not say like your enemies or tolerate them. No, He said we are to love them and pray for them. We don’t return evil for evil.

Later, as I was reflecting on this, considering the lesson I had learned, thinking about controlling my flesh, God showed me something.

¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

~Ephesians 6:12

When these things come against us that cause our flesh to rise up, it is spiritual. This verse shows us that truth, it makes us aware.

BUT

It also tells us that we are not to wrestle against flesh and blood; that is an empty battle with no spoils. The flesh is not the problem; it is the spirit behind it.

So fighting in the flesh is a waste of time and energy. This means arguing, fussing, intimidating and all those things. Our true enemy is spiritual, not flesh so that is where our focus needs to be. That spirit will operate through the flesh and often that is a distraction.

1 Peter 5:8: ⁸ Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

³ For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, ~2 Corinthians 10:3

We need to be aware of the enemy and what he is doing, how he is attacking us. The power is in the spirit, but it comes through the flesh. In our ignorance or pride or when our flesh rises up, we strike out in the flesh (by arguing, fighting, “standing up for yourself,” etc.) and that is useless against that spiritual power. It avoids the true problem, the root, it weakens us, discourages us and gets us caught up in concerns of the flesh. In other words, our focus is taken off of the true root of the attack, the enemy and we waste time and energy fighting something that we aren’t even supposed to be fighting in the first place – flesh and blood.

Our fight is in the spirit and that is where we need to keep our head.

I write about this because I think it probably happens more than people realize.

Autism is not the “r” word (retarded or mentally/developmentally inferior), but many people still feel and believe that way. In fact, you may have read an earlier post from last April where I encountered this type of attitude from a stranger.

Yesterday I encountered it from someone I know. I can tell you, that was way, way worse. Now, almost 24 hours after the incident (and after apologies) it still hurts in a way I can’t describe. It feels as if all the air has been taken out of my lungs, as if I have had a heavy blow to my gut.

The words, “You’re retarded,” hit me like a wall. I could only stand there, stunned, hurt beyond belief as the realization struck me that this was how that person really viewed me, how they truly felt because I have Asperger’s. I wanted to curl up in a ball right there and retreat from the world, but instead I just walked away without saying a word.

I wanted to keep walking, but I had nowhere to go.

Something was changed in that moment, with the utterance of those words. A light came on, I guess you could say. I realized that people hide how they truly feel or they shove it in the back of their mind. I understood, somewhat, the concept of political correctness. This person had been “politically correct” with me for quite some time, but in one moment, the veil slipped and the truth came out, political correctness abandoned.

Things will never be the same, they can’t be. Once you know how someone truly views you, good or bad, you can’t go back.

I think the saying “ignorance is bliss” is very true. I think I would have rather not known this bit of information because the truth hurts too much.

This person said that they were upset and that is why they called me that. They said they did not mean it.

But why say things you don’t mean? Isn’t that lying? I don’t know this person to lie and it certainly didn’t seem like a lie but more deliberate as if the words were carefully chosen and spoken from the heart (even with the upset tone).

I know that at least in that moment that person truly felt I was that way and I have to believe that somewhere inside them they still do. I don’t think opinions that strong can just come and go so easily. Maybe it is too buried, too deep, for them to recognize it under normal circumstances, but when the time is right, the environment is right, the deep-seated opinions and feeling bubble up to the surface and it is revealed or at least recognized.

But just because you recognize it doesn’t mean that you have to convey it.

I knew other people felt this way about me, but I never thought this person would. And it still hurts in unimaginable ways. I don’t like it when things change and this changed everything. This has altered how I trust this person, how I relate to them, how I feel about them.

I wish I could go far, far away.

But running away never solved anything. I just have to deal with it and be more careful when I deal with this person in the future. I have to limit how much I let this person into my life and how close I get to them. I can keep my distance; remain separate so they can’t hurt me again.

I forgive them. After all, you can’t hold it against someone for how they feel and for speaking the truth. You can’t crucify them for their own opinions, even if it hurts.

But it doesn’t mean that I have to put myself in a position where they can hurt me again. I really don’t want to be too close to someone who thinks I am inferior or thinks I am the “r” word. I really don’t want to be too close to someone who calls me names. I really don’t want to be too close to someone who discourages me and tears me down.

I feel that people, for the most part, tolerate me, my Asperger’s. I only have a very small number of people who I feel accept me for who I am. This person was among that small number. Now I have to question the attitudes of the others in that group. I feel even more separated from society, more isolated, more different, more of an outcast. If I don’t fit in with this person, this group, I don’t fit in anywhere.

I do have to wonder, though, does God see me this way too? I thought differently before, but this person is a very godly person, very close to God, and they see me this way. I have to assume that that attitude is a reflection of God’s attitude toward me. I am sure He appreciates that I am a willing, obedient vessel, but He can still see me as something less than human, something inferior, an idiot, if you will. But I guess God can use idiots just like He uses anyone else. I don’t know.

I will still remain faithful to Him. This incident, though, has made me rethink some things. My whole world has been called into question now at the utterance of a word. And I know it is just a word, but it had great impact, great meaning and it changed so much in my life. It altered my relationship with the person who said it and everything now is different.

I write this because maybe, just maybe, you will think before you speak.

Take care your words, for they cannot be unheard.

There seems to be two distinct spiritual influences prevalent in our society today when it comes to “religion” – even (or maybe often?) in the church.

The first one is Deception.

The second, Rebellion.

Working alone, each can get you into trouble. Working together, they can get you into a lot of trouble – a lot.

I have said this before and I will say it again (and again and again). Don’t just accept what someone “feeds” you, look it up in The Book for yourself. Many times someone will take one verse from the Bible and create a doctrine around it. Often they have not studied surrounding or supporting scripture to determine the context.

Deception will make you believe that what you are doing is right, even if it isn’t Biblical (and it will convince you that it is Biblical).

Rebellion will tell you that you are an individual, you control your own destiny and you should do what you want, what makes you feel good (even if it is not scriptural or against scripture altogether).

It is easy to get rooted in these things, usually because they are telling us what we want to hear. They speak to your ego, play off of your pride, utilize your fear and are usually never completely clear (confusion).

God doesn’t operate that way. He will never promote your ego or use your pride to manipulate you into doing something for Him. He is a God of love, not fear. He will not use fear to manipulate you. He definitely is not the author of confusion, but you know who is? Satan.

The enemy will try to mask his voice to sound like God’s. He will give you just enough truth to make the story look real when in fact it is really just a lie. He will use your weaknesses against you, your pride, your sense of self worth, your fears, to manipulate you into doing what he wants.

He knows what scares you, what you react to and he will use it till it is used up – until you are used up.

So, when you are presented with a teaching about God, don’t be misguided. Take a closer look. Does it contain the characteristics of God (love, truth, light, security, modesty, humility)? Or does it contain the characteristics of the devil (pride, fear, rage, insecurity, confusion)?

Your best defense against being misguided is to read The Book. Know God’s Word and you will know His voice.

Then you can’t be deceived and you can’t be tempted into rebellion.

Are there any areas in your life right now where you feel you may be struggling with deception or rebellion? What does God’s Word say?

Do you need to break free? Do you need a revelation? Do you need prayer? I am here. I am available. You can contact me through the comment section here, my email or through Facebook. You have a friend here.

God bless.

Well, Christmas has come and gone. New Year’s followed a week later. People say it is back to the same old day after day stuff.

It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, though. I mean,  people wait all year long for these two days to arrive – a whole 48 hours out of 8,760 hours.

Christmas, for instance, is a day that many people set aside to celebrate Jesus’ birth (even though he was actually born sometime around mid October). They also use that time of year to get together with family.

Why wait for a day to come so that you can use it as an excuse to do things that you probably should be doing more often throughout the year?

Around Christmas you suddenly see all these posts on Facebook praising Jesus and saying He is the “reason for the season.”

But isn’t He the reason for everything?

What about the other 364 days?

You woke up this morning. Praise God!

You get to see a brand new day dawn, usher in a brand new moment in time, you can read these words – or you have someone who reads them to you – what a blessing!

Do you really have to wait until Christmas to celebrate all the wonderful things that God does for you?

And New Year’s is just as confusing for me. I seriously don’t get the whole “New Year’s Resolution” thing. Why should I have to wait for a particular day to make a change that I should already be doing?

If there is something in my life that needs to change, the best time to start is NOW!

I remember certain things that happened on certain days and I think “this time, 20 years ago...” and I think of the occasion. But the moment in time has passed and it won’t come back. We say it is a celebratory day, but it feels just like any other day to me.

I do celebrate some days, like birthdays and such because that is what my family always done and somewhere in my mind, I guess if I stopped it would throw the world off of its axis or something (that is sarcasm – I know that won’t happen if I don’t celebrate a birthday or something).

I also give gifts for Christmas, but it isn’t a big deal in our house. We pray and praise God – but we do that every day anyway.

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions because they don’t make sense to me. If I have gone all this time and haven’t done what I was supposed to do (diet, exercise more, whatever) then one day that happens to mark the beginning of the new year on some calendars (but not all) is certainly not going to make me more inclined to see it through.

But, people were talking about their resolutions, so I sorta made one. That morning, on January 1, as I was praying, I said, “Lord, on this new year, even though it feels like just another day to me, I rededicate my life to You. Maybe your resolution, Lord, will be to use me more, change me more and make me more like You.”

Now THAT is a resolution to look forward to!

It’s funny. God and I go through the same cycle again and again. Actually, I go through the cycle, God just waits for me to “get it.”

He calls me to something that seems impossible to me - or really scary.

I say, “I can’t do that, Lord! I’m unqualified!”

And you know what? I am unqualified! I’m no great speaker. I’m not a great teacher. I am not the smartest or the most charismatic. I am definitely not a people person. I am very introverted, not an extrovert at all. I have a disability that makes me so socially awkward that I rarely talk to people first, I just wait for them to talk to me - then I am still self conscious.

No, definitely not qualified - not by myself anyway.

God, however, is qualified. And, this is the cool part, He works through me, in me and I become qualified! I just open myself up to Him, allow Him to use me and let myself be His vessel.

And I find myself doing things I couldn’t do before. I transcend my disability as He operates through me. My demeanor changes, my words change, my communication changes and I can reach beyond what I was told I could not do, beyond what I was told I was “hardwired” to be forever.

Yes, I still have Asperger’s and, yes, I still face challenges daily because of it. I still struggle, but at the right times I can step a foot into the NT world and communicate. I can reach people whether they are on the spectrum or not.

And that, my friend, is nothing but God!

He works through me in ways like this so that there can be no question. You know it is God. There is no doubt.

I am not certain where God is leading me right now, but I know He is working in my life in powerful ways.

I do know this, a year ago He was moving on my spirit to write a book. I resisted. I complained. I had a thousand excuses why I couldn’t write. I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t talented enough, people wouldn’t be able to understand it, blah, blah, blah.

It comes down to one word - fear.

I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone. But I finally took His hand and stepped out on the water. Guess what, I didn’t sink! I took those steps, keeping my eyes on Him - I’ve written 6 books since then and have several more in the works.

Now, I feel Him pressing on me to speak to groups.

OK, God, I’m ready when you are.

I commute to work each morning. I begin by walking to the bus stop and catching a commuter bus that takes me to the Pentagon. From there, I take the subway, transferring once, to a station near where I work. As a commuter, I, of course, encounter a lot of people. I may not talk directly to them, but they affect me just the same.

Many people carry bags with them. Some have the little briefcases or suit cases on wheels that they pull behind them. Some women carry humongous bags that stick way out (this is particularly troublesome when you are trying to cram 8 people into an elevator that really only fits 6). Just this morning, on the bus, a man dropped his bag and it rolled under my bus seat - then it rolled again and hit me in the leg.

This got me to thinking about the spiritual baggage that we carry with us.

How much does our spiritual baggage “stick out” and affect others? What words do we say or thoughts do we have or actions that we do that put our spiritual baggage in a place where it gets into other peoples’ space?

I think of times, early in my walk with God, when I was trying to understand all of the “rules” and learn how to live according to His Word. I encountered people, Christians, people who loved the Lord and wanted to live for Him, who acted contrary to His Word. It confused me.

For instance (and I see this A LOT), the Bible tells us to pray for our enemies (and it didn’t just say it once):

Matthew 5:44
But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Luke 6:27
“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

Luke 6:35
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.

Yet, I still encountered people who prayed against their enemies. I did not understand because it was so contrary to what I was reading and learning. They even rejoiced when these enemies fell. It was extremely disturbing and sad to me.

Now that I am more mature, I understand that we are “not of this world” and are to act “not of this world.” Now, I stand much, much stronger in the Word, not the world. Now, it doesn’t confuse me when people are worldly and do things that are contrary to the Bible. Now I know that they are wrong and I know that I must pray for them.

But in those early days their spiritual baggage hindered my walk somewhat. It created confusion (remember, satan is the author of confusion, the creator of chaos) and made me question what I knew in my heart was right.

Is your baggage sticking out? Is it getting into someone else’s space and affecting them?

Are you causing someone to stumble today? To falter? To question God’s Word because your actions, your words, your beliefs are contrary to what the Bible says?

Maybe it is time to do a baggage check.

I am warring right now against principalities and “spiritual hosts of wickedness” (Ephesians 6:12) in several areas of my life right now. In some cases, friends are involved in the battles alongside me. I have had other friends support me in prayer. That is a comfort.

As I was praying this morning - not my morning prayer with my husband, but my alone time prayer - I realized something. As I accept the authority that God gives me in Jesus’ name, as I grow stronger and rise above the situation, take authority in the situation, satan will try to stop me. He will attack my mind with thoughts and words. When that doesn’t work, he will attack my health, sleep and other physical areas I may be somewhat vulnerable.

We all know this, even expect it, but the response to these attacks is what was the revelation.

We praise God through it all.

You might say, “Duh, I know that!”

But that isn’t what I am talking about, not exactly.

As we are attacked, we praise God and thank Him for the trials and difficulties. Thank Him for the attacks and how He uses them for our good, for His good. See, if God wasn’t giving you power and authority over the dark places, the devil would have no reason to attack you. You would not be a threat so you wouldn’t be of much concern to him.

But when God empowers you to battle against this darkness, when you accept the authority and power that He promises you in Jesus’ name, when you begin to act on His Word, well, then you become a threat and the devil gets busy.

I supposed I knew this all along, but I never thought it out or spoke if it. It was more of a reflexive action than it was a conscious action.

But it is something that is vital to spiritual warfare. People need to be aware. Even if they are already doing it, they need to be conscious of it and understand why they do it.

So the next time you are in spiritual warfare and you are getting attacked, praise God. Yes, ask for protection, for wisdom, for courage and strength, but don’t forget to praise Him - and praise Him specifically for the attacks.

You will take away the devil’s power, render his attacks impotent and you glorify God, raising Him up and bringing Him back into focus.

It also helps you. In difficult times, praise is the best medicine.

Yesterday I was attempting to explain to an NT friend how lying affected me. I was telling her that I could not stand lying, that it is an offense that I have a very difficult time getting over. But she kept saying, “Well, that is just like anyone. Most people don’t like lying.”

I could not explain to her the show stopping, devastating, tortuous effect that lying has on me. I could not explain to her how, when someone lies to me it seems as if all of the air is sucked out of the room, how I can’t breathe, how my brain locks up, how my world feels as if it will never be the same, how I know what is done cannot be undone and that moment is marred because of a lie. I could not explain how one lie, or even a poorly chosen word, can change everything and turn my structured, orderly world upside down.

But my husband stepped in and told her that I don’t understand or process communication as they do, as NTs do. He said that when someone lies to me it upsets the order in my world, what I know to be true suddenly is not. I am not able to discern honesty and sincerely from sarcasm or lies (they are actually very similar to me because neither is true but now that I better understand sarcasm I no longer view it as a lie). He told her, essentially, that because I do not easily speak the language of NTs (it is not my native language) I rely implicitly on every word that is spoken - and I take each word at face value because the tones and inflections and facial expressions mean nothing to me.

Lying causes my universe to be out of order.

This explanation in and of itself was extraordinary, but what struck me even more was the fact that this man whom I have only known for roughly three and a half years (and only lived as his wife for one and a half) knows me better than people who have known me my entire life. He even knows me (in certain ways) better than I know myself.

That can only be God-orchestrated. There are no other answers to a relationship so personal, so knowing. God has given him a very special insight that allows him to probe dark corners of my mind, my neurology, my physiology and explain what “makes me tick.” He is the other side of this team, this ministry. He listens; he observes. He understands how to reach those parts of me that I can’t face and explain them to people when I can’t find words.

God loves me so much that he sent this man to me, this guardian, this companion, this teacher, this interpreter, the first real friend I have ever had.

Of course, I did not have this revelation immediately. It was roughly 15 hours later as I was waiting for the Metro. And when it hit me, I almost cried. But it was a happy cry.

My husband has been telling me for a long time that I need a revelation of just how much God loves me. Looks like I got it.

And to think, it has been right in front of me the whole time.